Kesalahan Baru

Temen atau Pacar 

Ini tuh baian dimana gw harus pilih antara temen gw atau cowo gw. It is hard for me. Aku ga tau kenapa in my mind kok pinter banget sih kaya udah tau kedepannya gimana gt. Sedangkan mereka aja fine ga nannya tentang pertanyaan gw tadi.

Dari situasi gw bisa baca dan dari kesalahan gw yang baru gw sadari setelah sampai dirumah. Gw udah bisa baca nanti kedepannya gimana. Maybe I am wrong dengan kedepannya gimana, aku ga tau. I need someone kasih tau aku kalo harus gini or gitu. Aku ga mau kehilangan temen gw dan pacar gw. Gw sayang bingittt sama mreka berdua.

I enjoy spending time together with them. Memang it is extra perhatian sm temen gw. Mungkin itu yang cowo ngak bisa lakuin cause ada gw di tempat itu dan dia ga terlalu pentingin. Sedangkan cowo gw his cool aja.

Kemaren cowo gw ga tawarin untuk cariin taksi tapi malah liatin and gw tuh ga bisa kaya gt. Kalo ada temen gw, gw pingin dia bisa ngertiin suasana siapa yang in charge gt. Well last night is me yg take charge. Dan it doesn’t go well. Apa yang salah?? Kata cowo gua because I’m trying to hard. What’s wrong with that? Kan tujuannya baik… Smua salahnya dijatohin ke gw lagi. Gw merasa dia ga support feeling gw maksudnya bukannya bikin enteng malah berat2in. Dan gw ga tau dia bakal segitu annoying nya kemaren malem. Begitu pula dengan temen gw… tapi she have a point juga dan kemaren gw sadar karna dia juga. I sure want to keep her as my friend because she knows the right and the wrong. Kalo di situasi kaya kmrn gw memang butuh my friend.

Sekarang gw stay jarak sama temen gua dulu cause gw ga mau bikin trouble apa2 dan sama cowo gw, gw mau break dulu… Biar dia ga perlu pusing dan smoga bisa ngertiin gw dan naik level kita ketemu di level yang sama.

Next week its gonna be okay. I prayed. 

You think You Understand ??

You don’t know me.

Boys will be boys, apalagi cowo yang sensi an. Apa lagi cowo yang ga bisa atur prioritasnya apa. Gw ga suka boys. Skali-kali gw dapet yang udah man up. It hurts, I’m sensitive… Is this love? Is this relationship with a different gender feel like? Because I’m telling you it’s hard. You probably hate me after read this or have pity on me. Please don’t. I am fine.

He makes me feel I don’t have anybody and my family is just others distraction to my success. He teach me to be more standing up for myself and I started to solving my own problem alone. When I need him his not there… I waited, waited waited and more problems comes. I waited to tell all my story I waited to ask him his suggestion I waited to meet him. But what? None of that happen, if yes none of this happen to me and I would not feel like this now. He did this to me?

I can not be the nice girl anymore with him. I learn untuk lebih tegas… punya pendirian sendiri. He don’t understand yet. It is hard to make it understand when he still less age. This is complicated.

I’ve been to the happy place when I and my family can share our thougts and I like share most of my day and lovelife with mom. Bring my boyfriend to home and not waste a lot of money, I cook and he watch, talk with my family.

Phone rings, notification from couple app… I can barely answer. I don’t want to make this more worst this enough. Technology keeping us apart, not helping but destroying. It is not professional to handle problems at phone. Apa lagi ini hubungan ttg perasaan. I don’t know. I’m not expert. And Im quit to be expert and to be knowing everything about relationship. Mol, Fen n friends they shut me down. Just mind your own business okay. Let’s just have fun just be you when u around me(to mike). I’m not your enemy.

It is complicated.

QOQO